5/6/22 Gooch and Dexter

 Fantastic Friday, and welcome to another episode!

My name is Obi, and on today's show, we will bring in a couple of fellas who were Tonks' first couple of interviews. So, welcome Gooch and Dexter as they join the ladies this morning.

Obi Ferret

(Daddy finishes counting down with his fingers and then gives a thumbs up.)

T. Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Tonks Talk. My name is Tonks

Tonks

.

M. And my name is Mina. Thank you for joining us this Friday. (With Awe in her voice, Mina speaks again.) I have to say I am still quite stunned because joining us today are the two most giant dogs I have ever seen. I thought you guys were lying to me.

T. (Giggling.) Nope, we will play a few clips from our first interview soon. But first, as many of you have already guessed, we have brought Sir Gooch and Count Dexter back to the program. 

Mina

Sir G. (Chuckling, replies in an English accent. and Tonks's lips twitch slightly) That's kind of you, young miss, but even though I'm an English Mastiff, I've never been rightly knighted, so you shouldn't call me sir. 

T. Mr. Gooch, then?

Mr. G. (Blushes) Gooch is just fine. No need to be so formal.

T. (Smiles broadly) Big Gooch it is. 

Count D. (Smiling) I like having the title Count, so I think I'll keep that. Also, thank you for having me back. I had such a blast last time (looks at Obi). Your brother really knows how to party.

(Obi says thanks from the back of the room, and everyone laughs.)

M. Gentlemen, now that I have recovered a bit. I'd like to say that it is pretty remarkable to finally meet you, as I have heard so much from the others. 

Big G. Honestly, miss, the pleasure is all ours. 

Count D. (Nodding) It's lovely to see you with the family. Any friend of Obi is a friend of mine.

M. (Blushing, bows her head and replies in a wild west voice) You fellas would make a woman swoon!

(everyone laughs) 

T. Here you go, Sis. This is an excerpt from when I first sat down with Big G. 

(Daddy hits a button, and a recording plays back, and Tonks can be heard on the audio)  Wow! You have a deep voice. Is that because your mouth is so big? Let me climb in there for a second. I want to see something. Aaah, yes, just as I suspected. I can fit my whole body in here. (Audio stops as Daddy hits a button)

(everyone laughs, and Tonks blushes a little.)

T. I still can't believe I did that.

Big G. I still believe I have a piece of hair caught in the back of my throat.

(Everyone laughs again)

M. I don't feel so bad anymore. One second, everyone. (Mina leans and whispers something to Tonks. Tonks' eyes light up, and she looks at Gooch and Dexter and clears her throat.) Which one of you runs faster? Daddy cuts in before anyone can answer.)

Daddy. No, we aren't putting miniature saddles on our guests, just so you two can find something else to compete at. Besides, we already have the no-riding cats and dogs policy in place.

(Both girls deflate as everyone laughs.)

T. (shrugs) It was worth trying. (The girls join in with their own giggles)

M. (clears throat): We'd better get on with the interview while we have time. Who would like to go first? Count Dexter?

Count D. Aw, you know me, Gooch always goes first. Besides, I'll hang out with Obi for a bit. 

(Tonks' eyes flash with jealous irritation)

M. Excellent. Turns towards Gooch) Big G, Since Tonks got to ask a few of these once, I will do it this time. I believe Tonks has a couple of new questions, as do I.

Big G. Sounds delightful. 

Big G. 

M. ( Excitedly claps hands) Ok. It's already been established that you are an English Mastiff. I had no idea dogs could be so big. I just thought everyone was exaggerating your size when talking about meeting you. 

Big G. (Smiles warmly) My breed is one of the largest dog breeds. Some of us top out over two hundred pounds, but I'm a lean 175 lbs. 

M. Wow! I'm not even two pounds. (T. Giggles and Big G. chuckles. Mina looks puzzled)

T. We knew this would happen, so, well, just listen to the audio.

(Daddy clicks a button, and you can hear Big G being asked the same question from Tonks. Then, finally, you hear Tonks' exclamation to Big G's answer.) Wow! I'm not even Two pounds. (everyone laughs again)

M. (Still giggling) Now that we have that all out of our systems, how does a Mastiff from England find himself in the Pacific NW?

Big G. (Snickers) I was born in a land called Washington. North of here.

M. Washington state? But the accent? 

(Everyone laughs, and Mina gets suspicious)

Big G. (Drops the English accent and says) It's fake. (everyone laughs harder, and Mina realizes they were all in on the joke. Finally, she looks back at a grinning Tonk and smiles.) Well played, Sis, and well played, everyone. (Mina laughs)

M. (Still smiling) Now that we know you are from Washington, what brought you here?

Big G.(Back in an English accent that makes everyone chuckle, Big G. replies) I'm not sure what happened. I had the beginnings of a kingdom. Lovely Castle, which had plenty of human servants. I was really on the up and up. (With a slight sadness in his voice, Big G. continues) I'm not sure what I did wrong, but there was some sort of rebellion, and some humans left one day. With them was my favorite. After that, I found myself in some form of exile until I found a new human. He brought me here, and I have started to establish a new kingdom.

M. (With respect in her eyes and voice, Mina replies). What a life. Such drastic highs and lows. I'm so happy you found your forever home. What is the new home like? Do you have many humans?

Big G (As Big G starts to speak, Tonks gestures to Dexter, and he heads back to his seat) It's terrific. We live next to a dog park, which I love going to. Plus, it's a quiet neighborhood, and there are plenty of spots to lie around outside without a care in the world. Several humans are at the castle under my protection, but only one I consider mine. It's a good thing I do because I try not to let him out alone. We do almost everything together, and I'm sure he would get lost, kidnapped, or in trouble if I'm not with him.

M. Humans sure can be needy. Well, Big G., why don't we take a short break and let Tonks and Count Dexter steal the show?

Big G. (In his English accent) Delightful idea

(Both Big G. and Mina get up and walk off to the break table)

T(Clears throat and looks at Dexter) Count Dexter, what can you tell me about yourself

Count Dexter

Count D. (Smiling) Even though the joke is over, I sure like the sound of being a Count. (Dexter and Tonks laugh.) Let's just go back to using Dexter. I'm what you call a great Pyrenees. We are also a large dog breed, But (gestures at Gooch) not as big as them. I'm what you would call a "soft" 125lbs.

T. You look more considerable than that. I really thought you were closer to Gooch in size. 

D. I have long fur. (He smiles and holds his front legs forward.) That makes me look much larger than I really am. 

T. You have a very calm air about yourself. It almost has a surfer vibe. Do you ever get intense?

D. (Laughing) I have my moments, but you are right. I feel folks should just relax a bit, and everything would improve. My ancestors were wanderers, so they had to adapt to different surroundings. I guess that helps to make me relatively chill. I may not have sheep to wander around and protect, but I have humans who need just as much protection. 

T. Even so, do you miss not having that wandering lifestyle?

D. I used to, but not much anymore. Daddy takes me on lots of walks, and someone else does it when he can't. We even have a particular type of door at the house, so we can go outside whenever we want.

T. Sounds like a beautiful place. How did you find this home?

D. (Looks pensive) As I mentioned, I often wandered. Once in a while, I would get caught and sent to a home somewhere, but I always found ways to escape. Then, one day, I got snatched for good and booked in the pound. I spent a little time in some halfway houses until my human found me and talked me into giving it a chance, and I've been happy enough that I don't even consider running off anymore.

T. That home must be special. So, I hear you don't like being ignored. And what is this about shoes?

D.(Dexter laughs a bit) I just have a thing for shoes and stuffed animals. I can't stand to see them lying around. It's a significant tripping hazard, and I'm all about safety. Sometimes, Daddy leaves his shoes lying around, or Gooch leaves one of his stuffies out. I get them and put them away. Daddy always finds them and puts them somewhere, but I always find them. As far as being ignored. I guess that is also true. So if my human gets distracted and isn't paying attention, I'll jump on his feet, and if he is on that darn phone, well, I just knock it out of his hands. 

T. Doesn't he get angry about that?

D. Not really. Daddy understands why and gets his focus back on me where it belongs.

T, You have an ideal situation, and I am so happy for you. For everyone else, that will wrap us up for the day. Join us tomorrow as we conclude this amazing interview. Take care.

Nympadora Arwen Tonks

Mina Tulip Schug

tonks

Mina